| Thesis Statement | I believe that living in dormitory giving more advantages rather than disadvantages. |
| Argument 1 | Dormitory is great place to meet new people |
| Argument 2 | living in the dormitory will provide a safe environment |
| Argument 3 | Dormitory has plenty of facilities to make sure the comfort of residents |
| Counter-Argument | The dormitory rent fee is expensive |
| Conclusion | Dormitory is a great place to live for the students |
University education is the most important milestone of an individual’s professional and personal growth. The time spent during university leaves a deep impact on most of the students.The living environment plays a key role for an individual student for the duration of their education (W. J. Bruce Fleming, 2012). Managing our time to study, making friends with others, and choosing a temporary place to live are the matters that often happen to college students. Choosing a place to live in may be so difficult when the options are so many. According to College data, They found that students who lived on campus for two years were 25% more likely to graduate than students who lived on campus only during their first year. To overcome that problem, many universities offer a dormitory for students. I believe that living in dormitory giving more advantages rather than disadvantages.
First, dormitory is a great place to meet new people. It’s easier to make friends when everyone lives in dormitory. Everyone will be nervous, excited and ready to mingle at the start of the year. So, by living in a student dorm, you can take advantage of the friendly atmosphere and make some close bonds (research of Cambridge and Oxford University), . Some dorms even comprise of mostly international students, so that’s an added bonus if you want to make friends from all over the world. Based on Barry University, dormitory is more than just a place to live and study, it will provide a place where college memories are made. It’s also a nice and comfortable feeling too knowing everyone around you is a college student.
Second, living in the dormitory will provide a safe environment. Based on Barry University, Usually, a dormitory is located near campus. The distance between dormitory and the campus is only 5-10 minutes away by feet. So, we don’t have to worry about the transportation to go to the campus because we can reach campus by walking. Additionally, dormitory area is secured 24 hours a day by trained security officers, added with a surveillance camera
Third, Dormitory has plenty of facilities to make sure the comfort of residents. The dormitory provides sport facilities, public facilities and any personal facilities. Sport facilities that are available in the dormitory such as volleyball court, basketball court, outdoor badminton court, and table tennis. For studying activities, usually there are some bucks that used to gather or do discussion. Additionally, in every room, there is a Wi-Fi connection for the needs of its resident of internet, either it is for helping them for the assignments or for their entertainment.
From the other side, the dormitory rent fee is expensive, but the benefits that you experience will be worth. The expense are including all cost for maintenance and paying the human resources that provided by the management or administration. According to College data, Unlike apartments or rented house, dorms do not have leases or monthly bills, so there is no worrying about legal contracts or late payments. You pay one big price at the beginning of the semester that usually includes all utilities, Wi-Fi and cable. We can do complaining for 24 hours if there is any wrongdoing or damage. So, it means the services that students receive quite worth the cost.
In conclusion, dormitory is a great place to live for the students. According to US college data, students who live on campus have also been shown to have a much higher rate of graduation. Also, The good environment and services are the main reasons why living in dormitory is a good choice. Just like Juan Somavia said “ you are the key to your safety”. So, I believe that living in dormitory giving more advantages rather than disadvantages to students.
- REFERENCES
http://college.usatoday.com/2012/08/21/10-reasons-to-live-in-a-dorm-for-four-years/
http://www.collegebasics.com/going-to-college/campus-life/290-benefits-of-campus-living.html
https://www.barry.edu/housing/living-on-campus/policies-procedures/
https://dus.psu.edu/mentor/old/articles/050713bf.htm
http://bishopjulius.ac.nz/author/admin/
http://www.statcrunch.com/5.0/viewreport.php?reportid=23952&groupid=657
MUHAMMAD FARHAN 
Hi Farhan!
Nice post yo do it well. all your sentences are easy to understand you also use very simple words. You also give some prove and quoted some people thought to strengthen your arguments. Your essay is well-structured and you can express your idea effectively even though I disagree with your thesis statement. The references that you use is also reliable and it really supports your topic sentence in each paragraph. and you make the main idea of each paragraph clearly by bold the text. so people will be more concern on your main idea each paragraph and know which is your supporting sentence.
My suggestion is maybe you can use another references such as journal and book also in your other post. and one more thing its about your words selection maybe you can change this sentence ;
Managing our time to study, making friends with others, and choosing a temporary place to live are the matters that often happen to college students.
=> Managing our time to study, making friends with others, and choosing a temporary place to live are the matters that often appears in college students life.
overall its a good job !
Keep Improve !
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Farhan !
Content – I’ve read your post, you’ve already stated clearly and easy to understand, you also using facts,study,survey,article even statistic to support your ideas
Organization – you already put introductory, body, and concluding with clear thesis statement and good organization.
Grammar/Structure – for the grammar and structure, I don’t find any other mistakes and seem well.
Word Choice – the word that you use seems well and I don’t find any wrong words.
Mechanics – you’ve already done the capitalization, fulls top and comma well
Overall I like your post, worth to read, keep improving 😀
See ya !
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Farhan ! Overall I have some compliments and suggestions for you :
(Content & Organization) For the thesis statement paragraph, you already provide complete supporting sentences to make your paragraph hooked me to look more about your essay. What you just need to add more is any strong supporting sentences to support your arguments (could be facts, statistics, quotes, anecdotes, or experts’ opinions), since I saw that your third and fourth paragraphs need it.
(Grammar & Structure)
“From the other side, the dormitory rent fee is expensive, but the benefits that you experience will be worth. The expense are including all cost for maintenance and paying the human resources that provided by the management or administration.”
You need to change it becomes “From the other side, the dormitory rent fee is expensive, but the benefits which you experience will be worth it. The expenses are including all costs for maintenance and salaries that provided by the management or administration. ”
(Word Selection)
“Choosing a place to live in may be so difficult when the options are so many.” to “Choosing a place to live in may be so difficult when there are so many options.”
“Based on Barry University, Usually, a dormitory is located near campus.” to “According to Barry University website, a dormitory is usually located nearby campus.”
(Mechanics) You should pay more attention in giving commas and using capitalization. Do not forget to use APA referencing style to create a good references.
That’s all from me. Good post ! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hy parhan,
(Content) I have read you post. This post are detailed and clearly stated. I can easily understand what you are gonna tell. Your outside sources already support your main idea.
(Grammar) i think you need to add ‘a’ before dormitory like “that living in dormitory giving more advantages rather than disadvantages” could be “that living in a dormitory giving more advantages rather than disadvantages”.
For organization, word choice, and mechanics. I didn’t found any mistakes and seems well.
Overall, i got all your point here. Looking forward to your next post☺😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Farhan, I’ve read your post.
(Content)This post are detailed and clearly stated. I can easily understand what you are gonna tell. Your outside sources already support your main idea.
(Grammar) I found no error in your grammar, already good
For organization, word choice, and mechanics. I didn’t found any mistakes and well organized.
Great post
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi, Farhan! I’ve read your post and such a great post you have.
It is very detailed but not complicated so it is easy to understand. And also you state your argument very clearly. So it is an interesting post I think. But, I think it will be better if you can pay more attention to using “the”. For example, you can add the in front of the dormitory and the internet. But I think overall it is a great post. Can’t wait to see your next post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Farhan!
Very nice post you got here.
After I read your post, I found that there is no error in it. Nice one.
Maybe just need to use the simple word in the sentences.
Overall, very nice! keep it up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
University education is the most important milestone of an individual’s professional and personal growth. The time spent during university leaves a deep impact on most of the students.The living environment plays a key role for an individual student for the duration of their education (W. J. Bruce Fleming, 2012). Managing our time to study, making friends with others, and choosing a temporary place to live are the matters that often happen to college students. Choosing a place to live in may be so difficult when there are so many options. According to College data, They found that students who lived on campus for two years were 25% more likely to graduate than students who lived on campus only during their first year. To overcome that problem, many universities offer a dormitory for students. I believe that living in dormitory giving more advantages rather than disadvantages.
First, dormitory is a great place to meet new people. It’s easier to make friends when everyone lives in dormitory. Everyone will be nervous, excited and ready to mingle at the start of the year. So, by living in a student dorm, you can take advantage of the friendly atmosphere and make some close bonds (research of Cambridge and Oxford University), . Some dorms even comprise of mostly international students, so that’s an added bonus if you want to make friends from all over the world. According to Barry University website, dormitory is more than just a place to live and study, it will provide a place where college memories are made. It’s also a nice and comfortable feeling too knowing everyone around you is a college student.
Second, living in the dormitory will provide a safe environment. Based on Barry University, Usually, a dormitory is located near campus. The distance between dormitory and the campus is only 5-10 minutes away by feet. So, we don’t have to worry about the transportation to go to the campus because we can reach campus by walking. Additionally, dormitory area is secured 24 hours a day by trained security officers, added with a surveillance camera.
Third, Dormitory has plenty of facilities to make sure the comfort of residents. The dormitory provides sport facilities, public facilities and any personal facilities. Sport facilities that are available in the dormitory such as volleyball court, basketball court, outdoor badminton court, and table tennis. For studying activities, usually there are some bucks that used to gather or do discussion. Additionally, in every room, there is a Wi-Fi connection for the needs of its resident of internet, either it is for helping them for the assignments or for their entertainment.
From the other side, the dormitory rent fee is expensive, but the benefits which you experience will be worth it. The expenses are including all costs for maintenance and salaries that provided by the management or administration. According to College data, Unlike apartments or rented house, dorms do not have leases or monthly bills, so there is no worrying about legal contracts or late payments. You pay one big price at the beginning of the semester that usually includes all utilities, Wi-Fi and cable. We can do complaining for 24 hours if there is any wrongdoing or damage. So, it means the services that students receive quite worth the cost.
In conclusion, dormitory is a great place to live for the students. According to US college data, students who live on campus have also been shown to have a much higher rate of graduation. Also, The good environment and services are the main reasons why living in dormitory is a good choice. Just like Juan Somavia said “ you are the key to your safety”. So, I believe that living in dormitory giving more advantages rather than disadvantages to students.
REFERENCES
benefits of campus living. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.collegebasics.com/going-to-college/campus-life/290-benefits-of-campus-living.html
Does Living in a Dorm Affect College Performance? (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.statcrunch.com/5.0/viewreport.php?reportid=23952&groupid=657
living in campus (policies and procedures). (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.barry.edu/housing/living-on-campus/policies-procedures/
reasons-to-live-in-a-dorm-for-four-years/. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://college.usatoday.com/2012/08/21/10-reasons-to-live-in-a-dorm-for-four-years/
Stay in a hall of residence? (n.d.). Retrieved from http://bishopjulius.ac.nz/author/admin/
The College Environment: Factors Influencing Student Transition and Their Impact on Academic Advising. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://dus.psu.edu/mentor/old/articles/050713bf.htm
.
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